How To Dominate a Submissive Without Hitting

non striking bdsm punishments

The title alone feels like a tricky quandary, doesn’t it? How would you dominate a submissive without physical, striking punishments? And why would self-proclaimed masochists desire pain-free punishments?

There’s a tremendous amount to unwrap here, so let’s get to it.

In BDSM dating, punishment serves as a core entanglement between dominant and submissive. Without some form of punishment, BDSM hardly exists. At least not in the way we know it today. BDSM dating would seem unrelatable sans punishments.

But alas, the pain-free BDSM punishment quandary remains real, and yet, enigmatic.

Why would a submissive not desire physical pain?

Some people desire punishment, but don’t like striking style pain. You can still be a masochist without yearning for striking like spanking, paddling, or many other forms of striking.

To answer the “why” is a complicated matter. In certain cases, the masochist may have a history of abuse in their childhood, or even prior relationships.

In other cases, it is literally just a preference.

No matter the reason, if the dominant signs on, they must respect this pain-free boundary.

The good news is, it’s not as complicated as it may seem.

Here are a few pain-free, non-physical BDSM punishment ideas.


While bondage can be painful, you are able to easily set a pain-free tone. Bondage can serve as more of an idea of enslavement and less of a physical experience. By using bondage that’s not overly tight or constraining, you implant the idea of pure dominance into the submissive without striking or slapping.

In fact, bondage can be achieved with no devices at all. It’s called mental bondage and it means the dominant tells the submissive that they must remain in a specified area for an allotted amount of time.


Much like grounding, this can mean that the submissive is not allowed to go out to meet friends, watch TV, or have a desert. It can also mean no smartphones or electronics.

Orgasm Control

A submissive, particularly a male submissive, could be asked to control their orgasm while they masturbate, or during a long-enduring handjob. BDSM handjobs are one of the most popular sexual fetishes for non-striking BDSM punishments. They give the dominant ultimate control over when the submissive releases joy.

Writing Notes Over and Over

You probably remember in elementary school being forced to write “I will not talk during class” or “I will not pass notes during class” after school in detention. Well, welcome to BDSM detention where the punishment remains the same.

“I will respect my master” looks awfully nice written 50 times over.

Doing Chores

Does your laundry or dishes need accomplishing? Have your submissive perform these tasks as non-striking punishments.

Verbal Humiliation

Never underestimate the power of verbal humiliation. It’s a highly underutilized BDSM punishment. At its very core, it exudes absolute dominance that often trumps any physical striking. In fact, physical striking attempts to control the submissive in a mental way. If you control the submissive via verbal commands, you’ve achieved ultimate BDSM dominance.


Not all BDSM punishments have to include physical striking. Some submissives have a suffered interpersonal traumas that prevent them from wanting to participate in physical striking BDSM dating. Therefore, its key to discover the benefits of non-striking BDSM punishments.