Beginner BDSM Tips: How Not To Ruin Your First Experience

beginner bdsm tips

When you’re new to the BDSM community, it’s easy to get intimidated. In fact, it’s completely normal. Just because your BDSM fantasies haunt your every free second, it doesn’t mean you won’t feel the butterflies in your stomach when the moment of action arises.

This is why it’s always imperative to have a BDSM beginner’s plan. Hence, read our BDSM beginner’s tips and put yourself at ease for your first conquest.

First and foremost, even if your first BDSM experience will be with someone deeply experienced, you still need a beginner’s BDSM plan. Here’s the thing… The experienced Femdom or Dom will appreciate your desire for a slower start. If you have no experience and assert that you’d like to begin with predicament bondage, you won’t be taken seriously.

New submissives are particularly vulnerable to cashing out and walking away from the table early on. This is because they get in over their heads and freak out.

So don’t be shy in suggesting some of our beginner tips to the Dom or Femdom you’re chatting with on our BDSM dating site. It will benefit you more than you think.

bdsm beginner tips

Erotic, Humiliating Talk

One of the best beginner BDSM tips I can give is to start with erotic talk. In the end, BDSM is as mental as it is physical. Actually, I’d say it’s more mental. You need to grease the grooves of humilation talk. You can even begin through chat (and probably should). Escelate that to phone calls. Then on to in person.

This humiliation talk sets the stage for what’s to come. It defines the BDSM synergy between yourself and your dominant. It’s the epicenter of every BDSM dating relationship.

Communication is the key to BDSM, but for erotic purposes and safety. Learn to communicate with your BDSM partner and begin a fruitful and wicked relationship.

Blindfold

In BDSM dating, trust is the core component for success. Without trust, we are left with confusion and unwanted sexual assertions. And that’s a big no-no.

Once you’ve communicated your needs and wants and defined safe words and decided to trust this person, a blindfold is a great place to begin. The blindfold is painless, yet represents both your levels of comfort.

The blindfold could be accompanied with feather tickling, humiliation talk, or even just silence. At any point, you can remove the blindfold yourself.

While blindfolded, you’ll develop a deeper synergy with your Femdom. And that’s central to your future BDSM endeavors.

Dress Up, Role Play

A huge part of BDSM dating is role-playing. BDSM is a fantasy that plays out, often in dungeons or lab-like rooms.

To elevate comfort, try role-playing via costumes. Your dominant will be happy by your brashness. And he/she will realize you are serious about your BDSM future.

Dressing up is an easy way to grease your BDSM grooves.

Spanking

Spanking is a traditional punishment. Spanking is ever-present in non-BDSM relationships. Sometimes, spanking is a gateway to BDSM, and other times, it’s the final destination before any BDSM occurs.

In other words, some people love spanking (giving or receiving) but never want any part of BDSM.

Spanking can of course, hurt, but it is a safer starting point. It’s easier to define what the pain threshold is before the spanking begins. In BDSM spanking, we find versions that are super light and others that are harsher.

Spanking can serve as your first toes in the physical lake of BDSM dating. You’ll feel some discomfort, depending on how hard of a spanking you receive.

The spanking also compliments initial punishments that the BDSM beginner can relate to. If you break a rule, your Femdom spanks you over the knee, or even as you’re bent over a table.

Spanking also allows for a hierarchy of pain points. In other words, you can increase the pain over time as you are comfortable. This can be done through sheer force of the spanker’s hand, or even by devices, such as belts and paddles.

BDSM Beginner Tips: Summary

Being a beginner in BDSM can be unnerving. That’s OK, we all went through it. Understanding some simple, safe starting points can really help you develop into a pro. An experienced dominant or Femdom will appreciate your beginner ideas as they don’t want to scare you off your first time.

Always communicate your wants, desires, and safe words prior to any BDSM experience. Start light with the physical stuff. Erotic talk and humiliation is a great starting point.

Remember, you’ll learn more about what you like with a slower start than you will with a faster start.