7 Essential BDSM Facts All Newbies Need To Know

bdsm facts

BDSM is more popular than ever. One of the major drivers of that popularity is the success of the hit film, Fifty Shades of Grey. Mostly, the BDSM community frowns upon that movie, but that doesn’t make it any less influential.

Unfortunately, that influence has led to a lot of confusion about what BDSM really is.

So allow us to clear some of that up.

BDSM is an Acronym

BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, masochism. I mean, that’s more words than letters, obviously, but all in all, that’s what it means.

The disparity between acronym letters and nouns is mildly intentional and a reflection of BDSM’s variety of meanings. Depending on the person, BDSM can mean something different. But overall, the core components of BDSM remain in tact. And the core is never compromised, but people experience different things within BDSM’s core.

Does that make sense?

We hope.

Sex Isn’t Always Involved

If you’ve seen Fifty Shades of Grey, you probably think that BDSM is a sex fest. But that’s not always true. Some people distinguish between sex and BDSM, while others marry the ideas.

When sex is involved, BDSM serves to heighten the ultimate pleasure by one or hopefully, both participating parties. When sex isn’t involved, the two (or more) parties enjoy a mental journey.

Both versions of BDSM are physical.

BDSM is all about Consent

This should be obvious, but at times, both BDSM porn and movies illustrate poorly how controlled the BDSM environment is.

In BDSM, both parties are willing participants no matter how intense the outward appearance may be. What may seem chilling is actually an agreed upon sexual experience. There are safe words and beyond that, previous communications invoking specified boundaries.

BDSM is a wild ride, but not un-contained or un-orchestrated. Participates observe and respect boundaries.

Participants can say no, or use a safe word, at any point during the BDSM experience. The Femdoms, dominatrixes, masters, and what have you, will respect it.

If anyone doesn’t respect boundaries, it’s not a BDSM experience. If anyone has a problem with a proposed boundary, they need to find a new partner that’s willing to partake in those aspects.

BDSM Dating Doesn’t Require Some Mental Issue

Because BDSM as an experience is a bit provocative and it’s portrayl in mainstream media makes it seem ludicrous, people assume that those who enjoy BDSM are mentally breached. But this isn’t true. You need not be unstable to take a liking to BDSM.

In fact, a study in Journal of Sexual Medicine disproves the idea that BDSM lovers are somehow mentally unsound when compared to everyone else.

BDSM is often used by people who work in stressful environments. Maybe they have too much control all day and are worn out from making decisions. There are many reasons why someone might yearn for a BDSM sexual experience.

BDSM Is More Complex Than Just Leather Whips

The glitzy side of BDSM is, of course, the whips, paddles, and BDSM devices. Sure, there’s predicament bondage and it’s intricate, complex environment. But not all BDSM is a labrynth, sometimes, BDSM is simple spanking. Some BDSM punishments don’t have hitting.

BDSM, at its core, is about an exchange of mental power. That can involve physical aspects, but does not have to.

Some People Like Dominance, Others, Submissiveness, Others…

In BDSM, you have a few main types. Dominants, submissives, and switches. The latter meaning they enjoy both. The dominant prefers dominating as a master. The submissive enjoys the other side of that spectrum.

A dominant and submissive will agree prior to specific, clear boundaries. A dominant is also a sadist, someone who enjoys dolling out the pain. A submissive, or masochist, enjoys incuring that dominance.

The dominance is always mental, but often, physical as well.

BDSM is a Lot of Work

You may have a craving to participate in BDSM dating. But how bad do you want it?

Lots of people think they want a BDSM experience because maybe they crave having their girlfriend spank them. But BDSM is more than that. It is very complex and involved. You must be willing to read and educate yourself. You should join our site, but with the caveat your willing to learn from others. Don’t fake your experience, you’ll get outed.

Before you get involved with BDSM, educate yourself online. Make sure you listen to those who have years of experience. And understand your realistic boundaries.